One day into this crisis, I named 5 reasons the coronavirus might be good for your love life. Now it looks like other people are catching on. Time Magazine reports how people who depended on apps, texting and quick meetups are now out of business:
“These digital natives, who through online apps have enjoyed a freedom to manage their social lives and romantic entanglements that previous generations lacked—swiping left or right, ghosting a bore, scheduling a late-night hookup—now find themselves unable to exercise that independence.”
Yup. And while no one will argue that a global pandemic is a good thing, it seems obvious that this is a silver lining. People are actually being forced to slow down and connect.
“Home, alone and in some cases without a job, single people are spending more time swiping right on dating apps to find love…The use of in-app video chatting on Bumble, a feature many users didn’t even know existed before the coronavirus spread, increased 93% across the country…with in-app calls and video chats averaging 29 minutes. Hinge, similarly, saw a 30% increase in messaging on the app in March, compared to February, and has responded by launching an in-app “date from home” feature that, if both users agree, launches a video chat or phone call.”
Yup. The phone is in. The same ancient device that dominated my youth and got me hundreds of mocking comments on my TedX talk.
People LIKE to connect beyond texting.
Turns out, when our hands our forced, people LIKE to connect beyond texting. Even Helen Fisher, noted brain chemistry expert whose work I teach in Love U, has come around to my way of thinking.
“Fisher used to offer one cardinal piece of advice to people on dating apps: Meet the person as soon as possible. And yet, in the age of COVID-19, she has become surprisingly bullish on dating at a distance. “Everybody thinks this is a bad time for dating. I think this is an extremely good time for dating,” she says. “Sex is off the table, so you actually have to sit down and really get to know someone. Because the most important thing to look for in a partner is having a good conversation.”
Okay, Fisher is still not correct about that. Good conversation doesn’t equal a good husband, not by a long-shot. But given the limitations imposed by this crisis, I think it’s clear that slowing down and evaluating men on your connection and their follow through efforts is a far more effective screening mechanism than texting, meeting, hooking up and keeping your fingers crossed.
Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.